I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
