THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
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while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
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I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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