Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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