Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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