i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
