He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
