we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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