very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
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so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
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I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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