So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
