why didn't you poke me back
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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