i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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