I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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