Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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