Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
