96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
