The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
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It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
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I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize