Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
