Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
