Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
