Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
