I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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