Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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