Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
