mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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