You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
