When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
