Can i not drive my cunt home
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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