Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
