And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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