Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
