dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
