I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I think my vagina is haunted
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
