For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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