Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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