I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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