Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
