Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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