We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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