Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
