Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She told me I should be a condom model.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
