I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
