Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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