He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
