What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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