You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
