Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
please come you make the beer taste better
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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