Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I intend to get homeless drunk
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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