i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
