I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
