All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
