all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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