um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
