I'm going to jail i love you
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He shit in the fireplace
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I enjoy the company of your penis
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
