Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
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Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
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I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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