sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
