Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
another moral hangover. fuck.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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