So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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