i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
