I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
